Who Are You?

When you're in the middle of a particularly dark moment of your mental illness you fail to understand how it's affecting the people around you.

For me, I thought I was 'me', and behaving as I always did. In fact, I was putting so much strain on the people who love me and making their lives difficult and strained. Chatting with my best friend Flo tonight, she was saying how lovely it was to have the real Tom back. She has been finding it so tough dealing with me and was getting freaked out by me. I was intense and extreme and obviously trying to find ways to push the limits in every way possible. I was drinking heavily and was so intense it was tough to be around me.

Now I am so much more stable and balanced. She was so happy tonight because I am at peace with myself and positive and, well, someone who is accessible and not a bit of a loony. In all seriousness, I am in a place of stability; I am looking at the light shining into my life and soaking it up and feeling energised by the power it is bringing.

I was in a place of self-destruct. I was in a place of extremes. I was ready to go down in flames.

Now. Now I see my life in the beautiful array of colours it has to offer. Now I see how much hope and love and joy and peace life has to offer. Now I understand the wonder of simply 'being'.

I have nothing to prove. I have nothing to race for. I will embrace my life and the possibilites it has to offer.

Come with me. Share the journey.

Share the journey in disbelief that you are not worth a damn. Share the journey in the belief you are spectacular and made to be loved and embraced as the beautiful person you are.

Peace. x