Easter is about new life. It is a celebration of Jesus rising from the dead, ushering in hope and forgiveness and redemption. I believe in hope and redemption. I believe in life anew and starting again. I like how Jesus has the scars from the brutality of the cross. He reminds those around him that scars are healthy. They remind us of pain but how the pain heals.
I don't believe in the resurrection, but I hold dear its significance. We all have pain. We all have moments where we feel crucified; hung up naked and exposed and abandoned. It's how we take those scars and move on from them.
I was reading Sia's blog and how she had a sense of anxiety and I related to that. I wake up most mornings feeling a sense of dread and panic. I want to crawl deep under my duvet and hide from the world. I want to call in sick and not go to work. I want to hide from the world. I am in a job where I am meant to be the 'face' of the business. I am meant to be gregarious and chatty. I am meant to make people feel at ease and welcome. I am the great pretender at times. I want to hide away and panic at the sight of new people. Yet, I welcome them and engage with them and entertain them. I fight the panic and the sense of uselessness. I fight the desire to withdraw.
I am trying to look at my scars and embrace how they remind me I am alive and healing and not a failure.
Easter reminds me I am so much more than I believe. You are so much more than you believe. You are gorgeous and full of potential. You are revolutionary. Wow. Imagine what we could achieve.
I love the last few lines of this pose.. again, a similar kind of empowerment to when I read Sia's post. It's lovely to read.
ReplyDeleteI am the same too, with the resurrection, and actually all religious stories. I don't believe them.. (Which plagues me with guilt somehow) But I appreciate the significance in them..
^^ I feel the same.
ReplyDeleteThough I don't feel the guilt.
I take from the holiday what I do from Christmas.
Most important is that time with those I love, and I love that those holidays bring us together.
Though I also appreciate the spring, and Easter and new life.
I just need look around at the lambs in the next field, or the blossom on the trees, or even that I am about to turn 30, and all of that reminds me of the precious nature of life.
The beauty of life.
I am the same. The one who engages and interacts.
And some days, I sit wherever I am, and this overwhelming urge, to just get home, literally race up the stairs, and climb under my covers.
The day just feels so much, too much.
You are NO failure.
You are an amazing writer and a beautiful inspiration xxxx
Tanya: Empowerment - that is a great word to use. I don't feel guilty like you, but I cannot move away from the significance of religious iconography.
ReplyDeleteSia: I turn 30 in July and I think it, too, is making me much more aware of the beauty of life. Thank you for your constant encouragement. xx