The Rat Race

Perhaps there is only one cardinal sin: impatience. Because of impatience we were driven out of Paradise, because of impatience we cannot return.
W. H. Auden

Self harm feels good.  That's the problem. It's not like you do it and hate every moment; the moment of hatred comes before and after - during it you are so pumped with adrenaline, it feels slightly dreamlike.  That's why it's important to never, ever be complacent about it and the dangers of falling into the trap again.  It's a narrow path to walk to ensure self-inflicted pain doesn't become habit again.

Unfortunately, many of us self harm in so many other ways that are socially acceptable.  Just another burger; just another diet; just another trip to the gym; just another drink; just another hour at work.

In such a fast paced world, we're made to feel guilty for slowing down.  We feel guilty for stopping and 'being.'  We punish ourselves by keeping up with the pace or for not being able to.  At work I am always confronted by customers who are so impatient and no matter how fast and hard I work, it doesn't appear to be quick enough.  If I stop and talk for two minutes with a customer, just to see how they are and how life is, I am met with sighing and tutting.  Seriously, how fucked up are we, that we are incredulous at the simple interaction of two human beings?

I remember, at Easter, saying to an impatient customer that although it was Easter, and I was dark skinned, he must have been mistaking me for Jesus because I wasn't actually able to speed up time and have his table ready any quicker.

The Rat Race has a title with vermin in it - it's probably a good indication of how seriously it should be taken.