Homeland and Depression

I was watching Homeland the other day and it is a really insightful drama about depression and the struggle it is and always will be.  When depressed it causes heightened paranoia, but it also gives greater insights into situations.  Unfortunately, because you're depressed others tend not to trust your judgement and you also doubt your own credibility.

Everything becomes magnified in a depressed mind, so that the smallest thing can seem gigantic.  A throwaway comment can be analysed and scrutinised for days, even weeks, in the mind of a depressed person.  There are comments from years ago that I sometimes still analyse to wonder if it really had any meaning and was actually truthful about who I am and what I stand for.

We all analyse things from time to time and can wonder, when we walk into a room if a couple of people laugh and look our way whether they were laughing at us.  With depression though, you don't brush it off but go home and tear apart your personality why they were laughing at you - when in fact, they were probably laughing and happened to look your way as they were laughing because you happened to walk through the door at the same time.

Homeland was very interesting because Carrie, the female protagonist, has bi-polar and is dismissed as crazy because of her disorder.  The irony is that although she is acutely ill, her insights are more valid than anyone realises.  I have come to accept that although there have been many times my judgement has been severely impaired, my natural instincts should never be doubted as my depression may magnify my emotions but don't nullify my instincts.

Depression does not take away my humanity, it affirms my humanity and the struggles we all face to be genuine, passionate people.