What do you see? Who is that man in the mirror? I don't know you.
I used to hate looking in the mirror because I never really knew who I was staring at. I found I was gazing at a face that was me but wasn't quite me; it was like a dream where you're you but not at the same time. Unfortunately, this was reality and it was weird.
I guess it was down to intensely disliking the person I was looking at and wishing he was someone else. Taller. Handsomer. Richer. Successful. Stable. At peace. I looked at myself and wished these things and many more but ultimately found the man in the mirror to be a poor reflection of who I wished to be. But then who did I wish to be?
Not this man I was looking at.
Depression is a warped illness because it distorts reality and causes you to doubt every sense you own. You doubt your abilities in every spectrum of life and therefore the man in the mirror you fail to trust because even that reflection surely can't be a true depiction of Tom.
When did I get such big bags under my eyes? When did I become so pale? When did I lose so much weight. When did I lose all life in my eyes? The questions go on and on.
The way to win yourself over is to understand how, whatever you see, there are still people out there who look and see you for who you really are. They see you for the man in pain but still the man they love and care for and want to help and nurture. Depression is an illness in which it makes you believe you need to be isolated but it is an illness where people make everything so much better.
My reflection may depress me but then I get a word of kindness and it reminds me that what I see is probably not what other people see. We all find fault in who we are and depression can magnify that perception of fault to a point of wanting to inflict harm, but it's a kind word or gesture that beats back the demon.
What do you see? Who is that man in the mirror? I know you and I am beginning to like you.
No comments:
Post a Comment