I'm sure most of us have wondered why five minutes before you finish work appears to drag on and on, whereas five minutes before you have to get out of bed in the morning appears to be but a blink of the eye. We'd like it to be the other way round.
We are ruled by time and I know I am particularly concerned with it. I like (very strongly) to have clocks in easy view and can't go to bed without my phone next to me so I can know the time. I know, it reads like I am bordering on obsessive and maybe I am. I don't like to feel time is slipping away - I don't want to waste the time I have. When I was in therapy my fears to do with losing time came through because, for me, I have huge fears of losing my mind. I have fears of getting dementia and losing the life I had. Time is connected to that and I worry that I am not appreciating the time I have and the life I am living.
Of course, this is a huge contradiction because the more I worry that I am not appreciating the life I am living, the more I am fulfilling my own fears.
Therapy though helped me to understand how unnecessary these fears are and how important it is to understand that my life will slip away if I continue to worry in such a way. Time will continue to tick by regardless of how I feel so, in the end, the only thing I am competing against is myself. I am young and healthy, why be afraid of a distant unknown?
And this comes back to five minutes in bed or five minutes at work; if I continue to worry away my life then time will fly by and I will be standing there, in years to come, realising I had worried my life away in the blink of an eye and not grabbed life in all its fullness and beauty.
Live your life.
Peace. x
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