I went three months without taking anti-depressants. At Christmas I decided I didn't want to be on them anymore. I was feeling defined by my illness and so (wrongly) thought it would be best to come off my medication.
I still get moments of shame about having depression. Like I need to 'snap' out of it and get a grip. I worry about new people I meet finding out I am on happy pills. I still occasionally think I am overreacting and part of that was why I stopped my medication.
Three months of feeling on the edge of a panic attack each day and having an unbearable knot in my stomach was enough though...
For me, anti-depressants have enabled me to gain clarity in my thinking and also equipped me to fight against my Intruder (see here ) and not allow It to dominate how I live my life.
Ultimately I have dreams I want to make real and, at times, my illness cripples me so the most basic tasks feel momentous. Medication eases the anxiety and gives me motivation to follow my imagination.
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