It seems that the most creative, explosive, dynamic and barrier breaking people are also tortured souls. It seems that those who write, act, create music and do it with a cutting edge can, many times, be people who are plagued by a darkness that hounds them.
Philip Seymour Hoffman was a tremendous talent whose eyes alone emanated an intensity that was enchanting. He acted with his everything - his entire self seemed consumed by the roles he played and I admired that about him. I also admired the vulnerability he never tried to hide because why should he?
When you tap into the depths of your creativity you also bring forth a lot of dangerous things; it's part of the creative process to open yourself up. I think about those greats of creativity out there who battle daily with mental illness, addiction and the darkness of the soul and how their works bring me to tears with their beauty and power. I haven't written anything considered 'great' but I hope I do one day, but I also understand that it may be at the expense of a peaceful mind. The book I am writing at the moment (which is why I haven't blogged in an age) is making me vulnerable because I am writing from the heart and from experiences that have been troubling. In order to write with real integrity though I have to face past demons as these demons enable a freedom of expression I wouldn't otherwise have.
I'm not sure I'm a troubled soul, but I am a man who struggles with dark thoughts so I have to balance my creative bursts with the warm, stable embrace of my fiancé, family and friends because too long in the darkness makes the light harder to head for.
People may judge Philip Seymour Hoffman for his addiction but we should remember that he was a human being who struggled through life trying to be an honest, beautiful person. The darkness took him, but he wasn't the darkness, he was a tortured soul.
Peace. x
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