Waste of Space

"You're a waste of space."

Words are powerful. Words are liberating.  Words can be damaging.

It is incredible what words can do and how much power they can hold.  We should step carefully with the words we use because they have the potential to build us up or tear us apart.  We can flippantly say something, but its impact can be far reaching and disabling.

I think a lot and analyse everything.  Anything said to me can stay with me and I'll chew it over and over and over.  I'll break down each word of the sentence and look for something deeper - something hidden.  I'll evaluate the tone of voice, the speed it was said and the look in the eyes.  It sounds obsessive but it's like I'm wired that way.

Someone called me a waste of space the other day and I was amazed at its impact.  It knocked me off balance and I felt myself shrink slightly.  I KNOW I'm not a waste of space and I am confident of who I am and what I am capable of.  What words like these do though is allow The Intruder a little doorway in.  He's able to wrap his bony fingers around the door and open it slightly.  I can see his putrid breath coming out of the ajar door I have locked him behind and whispering the words, "waste of space," again and again like a sick little mantra.  Occasionally he interjects this amusing (to him) mantra with stabbing reminders of where I have failed despite my words to suggest otherwise.

How's your book?  Not published yet?
Thought you were advancing your career?
Still taking happy pills?

I am happy with so many aspects of my life and I know I'm happy because I'm not trying to be happy.  I am loved and cared for; I am understood; I am accepted; I am appreciated; I'm in love with a wonderful girl.  The Intruder reminds me though of what I have failed to achieve and words like those spoken the other day make me wobble in my own self belief.  I don't want to be the guy who tried to make his dreams come true but fell to earth and saw his dreams shatter in the fall.

I want to fly to those dreams and soar with them.

Words can be powerful.

Tread carefully with your words for they hold the power to build or destroy.

Peace. x