Real Life

Reading in The Times today, a bishop decided to compare the ordination of women bishops to the oncoming threat of Hitler's evil in 1939. Now anyone with a slight attachment to reality can see his comments as rather absurd. It follows a similar thread to a conversation I was having last night with one of my best friends. We were talking about the negative impact church life had on us and how utterly ridiculous certain things within church life were.

We remembered instances where we were left in complete bewilderment owing to the absurdity of what we had experienced and how far removed from reality it was. Go to a church meeting and you will leave wondering if someone had scripted it. Think of The Office in a church setting. Now, of course, I am sounding harsh but I do have a point. Churches can get so involved in trivialities, they forget why they are there in the first place. To be a place of grace and love, where you can be broken, with no judgement. I couldn't give a shit whether the church grounds should have panel fencing or chain links. Was the music too loud for you? Deal with it. I remember someone in church asking how I was. I said I felt pretty crap actually and the panic on his eyes and stuttering response revealed he expected me to say I was fine. I erred from the script of a Sunday morning.

I am a broken person, who hurts a lot most days. I have friends and family who accept that brokenness and embrace me just as I am. They listen to my broken record monologues without thinking any less of me. I love my friends unconditionally. Their faults make me love them more, because it shows they are human and have no pretense. I make a lot of mistakes and allow my emotions to run my life without thinking about it rationally. I love to live this way, because I am an emotional person. Hopefully I will learn from what happens, but whether I do doesn't matter, as my friends still stand with me and I love them for that. They try to advise me on the best route, but don't pass down self righteous morality.

It is real and genuine. We live life normally. I don't miss church because it feels so forced and unnatural. I'm pretty sure that Jewish carpenter from 2000 years ago would walk into many churches on a Sunday morning and wonder what the hell people were doing. He'd more than likely walk out and say that if anyone wants him he'll be down the pub.