Dancing Dust

Do you ever get that tip of your tongue experience where you are trying to recall something and it is tantalisingly close but slightly out of reach?  Do you ever experience the same sensation in other parts of your life?  Do you ever find in those very rare moments of quiet a brief thought, like a whisper in your ear, or a tickling on the back of your neck or a fleeting emotion of "What if?"

We can wander through our existence doing life and all it has to offer and occasionally think we could be doing things a little (or a lot) different.  We are dominated by Hollywood-esque ideology which portrays life as an exciting and soul changing experience or by an Eastenders-esque ideology that paints life as a dreary drama where unless we're arguing or going through trauma then we're not living.  I believe though we get thoughts of 'something more' like dust dancing in the sun light - there for a moment and then gone again.

We all get on with the daily routine and there's nothing wrong with that but I know I occasionally get caught out by feelings of doing more to enhance myself or those around me.  It doesn't need to be world changing, life changing or community changing, but I know that little differences make big differences.  Recently I have been working a lot and not taking the time to appreciate myself, my friends or my beautiful fiancé - it started to take its toll.  Being overworked and overtired meant my mind was overrun with negative, tired emotions and ultimately my depression was able to take a dark, dense grip on me.  I needed the whisper to become a shout to ensure I didn't sink.

Making little changes have made big differences.  Taking time off to recharge.  Carving out time to spend with Carmen.  Concentrating on my appearance again, i.e. new clothes and haircut.  Drinking less alcohol.  Enjoying those things that cultivate my mind, e.g. reading and writing.  All these little things make a big difference in how I process depression and counteract the triggers that lead to bad things.

It also helps me in my imagination and desire to reach the goals I know I can reach.  I believe I have a creative edge to offer and when looking after myself it can evolve into something a little bit unique.

Look after yourself and don't ignore the dancing dust in your mind as it might inspire you to reach for something you've always wanted but been too distracted to go for.

Peace.  x