Uncle David

In a world filled with power hungry people gorging themselves, celebrity obsessed embarrassing themselves and reality 'stars' selling their souls, there was also David.  In a society that moves at breakneck speed, where patience is a rare virtue and gentleness is strangely seen as weakness, there was also David.

David wasn't a man who chased fame, infamy or reputation; he was a man who lived simply and quietly.  We may scoff at a life of strict routine but life is messy, life can be tough and life can be unsettling, so routine can bring a constant that steadies the ship.  Even when wars tear countries apart and politicians lie and newspapers sensationalise, David still bought his pasty from the butchers or his fishcakes from The Company Shed each week.  His life of routine was a steady constant that indicated life goes on and brought a comfort in those small ways of life.

Even when David became ill he remained constant in his life so that meant his dog would always get walked and life would continue onward.  David handled his illness with a sense of dignity and irony; irony because it wasn't the cigars I remember him smoking when I was a child that made him ill but probably a result of the hard work of being employed by the council and dealing with asbestos.  And dignity because he didn't announce to the world about his illness, craving attention, but carried on with life in his simple, quiet way.  We can all learn from such an approach because I know that I can be far from dignified and desire a sense of validation from others.  David lived an old fashioned, evenly paced life and his illness didn't stop that (until the very end) and for that I am in huge admiration of my uncle.  

I would suggest that David was heroic because how many people do you know who would turn down chemotherapy because they needed to paint their house?  That was a sign of a brave, beautiful man who will be missed and always loved as a brother to Jenny, Heather and Alan, as an uncle to his nine nephews and nieces, as a cousin and as a friend and as a son to Hazel and Lou, who many believe he is with now.  Rest in Peace David.

Shakespeare or Joey Essex?

I hope we’re going to move forward as a species and this isn't the pinnacle of our existence.  There is so much we can be proud of, with wonderful talent in all walks of life.  Throughout the world we witness sporting greats, who tirelessly work to break the boundaries of physicality; there are filmmakers trying to make cinema the magical thing it once was; there are people willing to fight against the system in order to have their voices heard and regimes of oppression wiped out; average people are doing extraordinary things and it highlights the power of the human spirit.

Unfortunately though, some of the truly amazing humans out there are not the ones we read about or applaud; winning Big Brother, the X-Factor and being a dumb guy from Essex seems to gain more attention and reward.  Doing great things isn’t about gaining celebrity, but I’m afraid that we are keener to watch Joey Essex highlight how woeful our education system is than debate whether Edward Snowden did a good thing for human freedom. 

Humanity is an abundance of mind boggling achievements, from the pyramids to cathedrals, from Mozart to Eminem, from Sophocles to Shakespeare.  I would hope, in 200 years’ time, our legacy is the continued creativity of the human spirit and not ‘Necknomination’, because trying to impress a fake world of tweets and likes is a sad existence in comparison to stretching to boundaries of our mind and body.

Peace.  x  

The Tortured Soul

It seems that the most creative, explosive, dynamic and barrier breaking people are also tortured souls.  It seems that those who write, act, create music and do it with a cutting edge can, many times, be people who are plagued by a darkness that hounds them.

Philip Seymour Hoffman was a tremendous talent whose eyes alone emanated an intensity that was enchanting.  He acted with his everything - his entire self seemed consumed by the roles he played and I admired that about him.  I also admired the vulnerability he never tried to hide because why should he?

When you tap into the depths of your creativity you also bring forth a lot of dangerous things; it's part of the creative process to open yourself up.  I think about those greats of creativity out there who battle daily with mental illness, addiction and the darkness of the soul and how their works bring me to tears with their beauty and power.  I haven't written anything considered 'great' but I hope I do one day, but I also understand that it may be at the expense of a peaceful mind.  The book I am writing at the moment (which is why I haven't blogged in an age) is making me vulnerable because I am writing from the heart and from experiences that have been troubling.  In order to write with real integrity though I have to face past demons as these demons enable a freedom of expression I wouldn't otherwise have.

I'm not sure I'm a troubled soul, but I am a man who struggles with dark thoughts so I have to balance my creative bursts with the warm, stable embrace of my fiancé, family and friends because too long in the darkness makes the light harder to head for.

People may judge Philip Seymour Hoffman for his addiction but we should remember that he was a human being who struggled through life trying to be an honest, beautiful person.  The darkness took him, but he wasn't the darkness, he was a tortured soul.

Peace.  x