For the past two nights I have been having dreams about being chased. It is one of those typical dreams where no matter how fast you run, you cannot escape your pursuer. Your legs feel heavy and laboured and all your movements are sluggish and exaggerated. You are desperately willing your body to engage and take flight from the dark figure stalking your dreams, but all the will in the world appears useless.
I am waking up disorientated and uneasy; I am feeling on edge and stalked. Those few moments of not understanding it was just a dream are intense and horrible. The trouble is, I am feeling on edge throughout the day because of the dreams and I am hoping tonight will be a peaceful night. I am hoping tonight will be dreams of future plans and present love and past achievements.
I have been analysing why I have been having these dreams and wondering if it is my Intruder waving hello. He is never far away and I do get paranoid he will burst onto the scene in all his macabre glory. He is under control and I have a small smattering of dark incidents over the past two years to smudge a rather clean and wonderfully positive time in my life.
But.
He doesn't adhere to my rules. He adheres to his own chaos and dystopia.
Thankfully, I am stronger and more stable; I am wiser and more aware; I am loved and in love.
Ultimately, my Intruder can only do as much damage as I allow him. He can only chase me as long as I keep running and don't turn and face him. It is my life, my control and my destiny.
Peace. x
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