Love

Joe tagged me.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)
1: Name one idea that used to be seen as a key Christian theme, but is nowadays regarded as either irrelevant or outdated, although you think it still has a lot to offer.
2. In two sentences say something about why you selected this, and why it should be recovered or renewed.
3. Tag three people.

1: Love. Now this is not a conscious theme that is never used now, but it struck me that love seems to be on the back burner within the Church and society in general.

2: Now it won't be two sentences I'll be using because I can't squeeze my thoughts into such a short space! Our society is plagued by bitter squabbles and pettiness. Politicians argue and try to score points against each other on very minor issues: “He said,” “She said,” type banality. Celebrities, the focal point to many people's lives, sell stories of kiss and tell and try to run each other into the ground for personal gain.

Now the Church is called to be a shining light in a dark world and unfortunately get caught in the same traps. The Anglican Church is marred by issues of allowing women to be bishops. The Catholic Church has far too many issues surrounding the exact opposite of love. The Evangelical Church like to tear pieces out of one another regarding the meaning of Jesus' death on the cross. The American Church has many who will deride you and expel you if you support evolution. And the gay community finds it is suffering from prejudice in pretty much every denomination.

Jesus said to his disciples that they should love on another and the world will know they are his followers. This seems to be a theme Jesus wanted to be carried through forever. So much bitterness and petty squabbling though takes centre stage and the simple notion of loving each other is put way down on the list.

The passage from 1 Corinthians (which is probably overlooked because of its overuse at weddings) calls people remember what it means to love. I was told once to replace the word love with my name. Am I patient, kind, not easily angered, modest, able to forgive quickly and forget? Many times no, but the Church and society need a wake up call to centre our lives on these mantras. I am a hopeless romantic and rather naïve because maybe I do watch Moulin Rouge too much and believe all you need is love. But surely if love was a central theme to how the Church operated (as opposed to paying it lip service) then it would be a shining light into society and maybe society would start to see each other in love and not materialistic gain and ways to suck the life out of each other.

Love is a painful thing because it means you have to make sacrifices and accept some things don't change, but love also means you see people in a new light and look for the best in them, regardless of who they are and what mistakes they have made; after all we all make mistakes. If our motivation is love though, then surely we won't be so plagued by the shit and mindless crap that dominates our days and weeks.

It's rather simple, but I would like to think Jesus said it because he wanted his followers to see the simplicity of it.

3: I don't tag anyone, but welcome feedback.

The Intruder

It's the knot in your stomach. You wake up with it, you go through the day with it and you go to bed with it; and it also keeps you awake. You are constantly anxious and you're not always sure why. It wears you down and causes you to start to give up. You resign your thinking to the fact you will always feel this way. It causes bitterness and resignation and it also causes you to think you are weak and stupid. Snap out of it for god's sake.

There's also the mental and physical disability. You can be walking down the street and you feel this dark cloud invade your mind. So much so that you can't keep walking; you can't do anything. You simply stand there paralysed and wonder what the hell to do. Walking seems too much and the thought of then meeting another person causes the slow, scary rise of panic to fill your consciousness. You stand there terrified of moving and not knowing how to get out of the situation. If it sounds dramatic, it's because it is. We underestimate the power of the mind.

If your mind decides to work against you, then you suddenly acknowledge how utterly necessary and controlling it is. It can feel like you are watching yourself from the outside whilst your mind takes you hostage and you are somehow trapped in a small compartment within your mind, watching an intruder corrupt what you hold so dear.

It's scary fighting against this and claiming your mental health back. Saying you won't be dragged down and you won't entertain those dark thoughts that maybe it's better to simply not be around. It's not a thought hoping to get attention, it's a thought that comes from no longer having the fight in you.

It's when you do fight against the intruder of your mind and unlock the door to the compartment that you find a fresh understanding and fresh hope. I've picked the lock and I'm claiming back what's mine.

Grace and Love

I want to make it clear that a lot of my criticisms about Christianity are aimed at Conservative Evangelicalism and fundamentalism. My gripes are rather broad, sweeping statements about views and theology which is rather unloving and narrow-minded. There are many people with whom I have deep respect and love, who are avid followers of Christ.

Tim, my former boss, is a dear friend who I don't see enough. I would say he was a brilliant example of how Jesus would want to see his followers be. He gave me so much support and love when I was grappling with doubt and depression, whilst working in a job which required rather strong belief! He was a god send and I can't ever be more grateful to you Tim for how much of a good friend you have been to me.

My twin is getting ordained in a couple of weeks and I am so excited about the positive impact Joe is going to have on the community he joins in Devon. He challenges traditional views of church and is going to be doing something I believe Jesus would be rather happy with; he's going to be loving others where they are, as opposed to making them go to him. Unconditional love and grace, something I do feel Jesus taught about a lot. I am very proud of him.

I greatly admire Sam and his work on Mersea as the controversial rector. A very intelligent man who always challenges me with what he writes. Again, he exudes much of what I feel the Early Church was trying to achieve. Good humour, non-judgemental and very accepting of those around him. Another disciple who does not pretend to be anything he isn't and tries to break down misconceptions we form about the Christian faith.

There is much I agree with when it comes to Christianity and grace and love are high on the way I want to be towards others. A lot of my blog will be rather self-deprecating because I'm criticising much of what I used to believe and how it was rather self destructive. There is much though that I really agree with in many areas of more generous theology and would want to applaud people like Joe, Tim and Sam for who they are and what they bring to our community from a faith perspective.